Connect with your kids on vacation

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Family Vacation. There's a reason those words cause raised heart rates, eye rolls, or even looks of terror. Families, despite loving each other very much, aren't always great at being with each other – especially without the distraction of technology or scheduled activities.

However, the most restorative and beneficial moments, for both child and parent, are when you're able to truly connect. And the good news is that connection does not require special planning, but rather the intention to enter into it. Instead of "getting through" this vacation, take advantage of the time to connect.

WHAT’S GOING ON?

What does real connection look like?

Connection is a present-moment experience shared with another person, which dissolves our aloneness. Attachment theorists call this state "intersubjectivity" and positive psychologists call it "positivity resonance." Whatever the name, these are moments when our nervous systems align and we feel a joyful and restorative resonance together. Research has shown these moments are good for our emotional and physical health.

The factors that create these special moments are:

Shared attention and intention. We're both doing or paying attention to the same thing, and we're aligned in our motivations and actions.
Mutual care, affection or good-will toward each other.
Shared emotion. We're both experiencing the same emotion at the same time. While it's lovely if the emotion is a positive feeling like awe, or humor, or insight, we can also connect around harder emotions, such as sadness or frustration. And, connecting with another person around these harder emotions tends to make them feel better.

One important thing to understand is that connection happens as a series of micro-moments of mutual good-feeling, experienced between people over time. It is not a permanent state, but rather a practice of coming together to experience connection. However, the more of these moments you share with your child, the healthier and happier the relationship will be, and the greater the well-being benefits for each person.

Family vacations can bring a lot of stress with them. But prioritizing your relationship with your kids over all else, by investing time and emotional authenticity, the resulting connection with be priceless for you all.

How does this apply to your child?

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