The risky business of childhood

WHAT’S GOING ON?

It is natural to want to protect our kids in every way we can – it is the deepest instinct of parents. Humans have evolved over millenia to be wary of risks in the environment, and we have thrived as a species by developing safeguards against risks – from door locks, to seat belts, to insurance policies. Risk sets off alarm bells inside that feel really bad, and the threat of loss actually feels worse than loss itself when we do experience it – this is called "loss aversion" and we evolved this way to motivate safety.

The thing is, kids need a certain amount of risk for healthy development. When kids take risks – particularly physical risks – they learn to trust themselves, perceive that others trust them, and feel competent in their own abilities. They learn to tolerate some fear, persevere and problem solve. Even when things go "wrong," they learn some of life's most valuable lessons, like how to be resilient and that they can handle a setback. Ultimately, kids who grapple with risks feel less anxious about the world and their place in it. Conquering physical risks has been strongly linked to higher self-esteem.

Also note that when our kids are doing something "risky" we may feel a lot of anxiety because we don't have control over it. Risk without control leads to stress and anxiety. Your child, however, does have control (and is learning to have more control through the activity). What they feel is the excitement and empowerment of pushing their growth edge. This differing experience is important to keep in mind.

How does this apply to your child?

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