Know your values in parenting

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Along the journey in parenting, it's easy to wonder if you're making the right decisions. Our kids are often the first to let us know when they don't like how we're handling something. But friends, family, and even strangers frequently also weigh in, with advice or disapproving looks.

Trying to do it "right" or please everybody all the time is a losing battle. You are the leader in your family, and your own deep values are your best guide in parenting decisions. As the New Year starts, take a moment to check in and reaffirm your values in parenting.

ps - click for a centering New Year's meditation!

WHAT’S GOING ON?

There's a lot of talk about values, but what are they anyway? According to values researchers Barb Markway and Celia Ampel, values are deeply held emotional truths for each one of us, that "give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity.”

There are over 200 words that can represent different values (such as trust, integrity, peace, joy, patience, privacy, health, etc.) and none are right or wrong. However, because values are so powerful in orienting and guiding our behavior, it's important to examine the outcomes that different values lead to, and also make sure they align with our highest good and flourishing. Many wisdom traditions, and modern psychologists, suggest putting human connection at the top of our values hierarchy, because it is the foundation of thriving for us.

What do values do for you?

Understanding your values and making life choices (including parenting choices) based on them has been shown to:

reduce stress - you remember what's really important
make better decisions with less angst - you're less distracting by competing factors, and more confident of your final decision
be more assertive and compassionate in your communications - can you communicate your reasons more clearly
inspire better health - values can remind us why we want to make healthy choices
activate grit and perseverance - reminding us of the ultimate reason for a short-term sacrifice

Equally, acting out of alignment with your values is a source of ongoing stress.

How does this apply to your child?

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