Lean into routine

WHAT’S GOING ON?

Events or periods of extra stimulation – whether they are generally positive such as the holiday season or a birthday, or more stressful such as a move – often involve unpredictable schedules, unusual meals and treats, different people around, disrupted sleep, and heightened emotion. Major hits of adrenaline, dopamine and or cortisol may be hitting your kid’s system, and as we know, what goes up must come down. The result can be mood swings, tantrums, or feelings of lethargy. These storms are your child's brain and body regaining equilibrium, but can feel dramatic and confusing, especially if you are also overwhelmed.

After times of extra stimulation (and even during normal times, to counteract normal stimulation) routines help kids feel safe, calm down, and regain a sense of mastery over their environment. For kids, some of the benefits of routines are:

Predictability feels safe. New situations cause stress and require a lot of mental energy, but knowing what to expect makes us feel in control of our environment and is comforting.
Routines help the brain grown and learn. By demonstrating a structure and repeating, routines help the brain learn to organize the world. This leads to feelings of competence.
Routines help kids gain mastery, so they may be in charge of more of their activities.
Routines reduce negotiation with our kids, making the days run more smoothly. In the same vein, routines help kids cooperate, because they know what will be expected and can mentally prepare.
Routines help kids stick to a long term plan. Getting enough sleep or doing enough homework may not be choices we'd make every day, but when they are built into a routine, the small daily actions build up to positive accomplishment over time.

The flip side of course is that too much routine can feel stagnant, in which case more variety or challenge is necessary. But remember that kids need more routine than adults because they are taking on so much new learning all that time, and that each person is different, so some kids need the stability of routines more than others.

How does this apply to your child?

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