Get Physical

Roughhousing is physically active play that is joyful but also a little risky. The physicality and thrill of pushing boundaries leads to shrieks of laughter, stress relief, and lots more benefits, including:

Brain development - Intense physical play stimulates growth in several brain areas, and research shows that kids who roughhouse at home do better in school and social relationships as they grow.
Self-regulation - During rough play, kids practice moderating between to letting loose and holding back. They also experience aggression, in themselves and others, giving them practice managing these intense feelings.
Stress release - Having a safe space created by a loving adult lets kids release the feelings that build up throughout their day. Rough play stimulates endorphins and oxytocin, two feel-good brain chemicals.
Social skills - Reading social cues in the highly stimulated context of rowdy play, and responding quickly to a dynamic situation, translates to better social skills all around.

Roughhousing is good for both boys and girls, starting in the toddler years and lasting throughout adolescence. Though kids are sometimes socialized to stop physical play as they get older, in fact it's a great way to stay connected with your older child.

HOW TO DO IT

Some ground rules set the stage for fun and productive roughhousing:

The most important rule is that all participants are willing, and have control to stop if it becomes too much
No kicking, biting, hair-pulling, or tickling
The parent takes the less powerful role. Though you ham it up and put on a good fight, this play is most effective if you let your child over-power you
Try to follow your child's full emotional arc from revving up to cooling down
Sometimes rough play will stimulate tears or intense emotions for your child. This is ok (good, in fact). Help them release their feelings by switching from play to listening and empathy

1. Pillow fight

Sometimes the best way to deal with a grumpy mood or incalcitrant child is a good old fashioned pillow fight! As the parent, be sure take a less powerful role - you can fight valiantly, but in the end, let your child overpower you and give you a good whopping with the pillows.

2. Roughhousing & physical games

There are unlimited games and ways to roughhouse, from good old-fashioned wrestling, to more structured games. The key is of the adult to keep a playful attitude, maintain a challenging but safe environment, and ultimately let your child overpower you.

Here are some ideas for starters:

Wrestling
Tag
Chase
Sock or snowball fight
Pillow fights
Stay on the bed (Your child tries to escape form the bed and you try to keep them on.)
Blocking (ie, "I bet you can't get past me into this room!")
Horsey rides or bucking bronco
Dance party

3. Free play in nature

Next time you're at a park or nature destination, give the structured play a rest and just see what your kids want to play spontaneously. Games of tag, imaginary play, and other ways of running around and being rough and rowdy are great for them!

4. Play sports together

Playing structured sports with your child can also be a great opportunity for physical release and bonding. Soccer, basketball, tennis, biking, are all good - whatever you enjoy! Maintain a playful attitude, and let your child overpower you if possible.

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