During the holidays, special and abundant foods are part of the traditions—and joy—of the season. But unfortunately, in our culture enjoying food can get tied up in body size and self-image, and feel tricky. And because a positive body image is important for confidence and self-esteem in the adolescent years, so it’s important to help your child maintain (or build) a good foundation in this area.
The good news is that, despite the cultural messages out there, the way you speak and behave at home can go a long way toward helping your child feel good about their body. In the spirit of the holidays, gratitude is one powerful tool for a positive body image.
Positive body image and self-esteem are particularly important for adolescents, who are going through major physical and emotional changes. How an adolescent feels about themselves and their body influences their ongoing quality of life. A study across 10 countries found that 67% of women avoid life activities because they dislike the way they look. And, although the beauty industry is particularly hard on girls and women, men can also grow up to feel critical about their bodies and have low self-esteem (and increasingly, eating disorders).
Research and anecdotal evidence show that puberty is often a turning point. It’s a time when young people, especially girls, tend to become unhappy with their bodies. Adolescence is where eating disorders can rear their ugly head as young people struggle to fit in with their peers. Their bodies are undergoing big, and often confusing, changes, and new feelings about attraction and sexuality can be overwhelming.
A solid foundation of gratitude and appreciation for their bodies can help, but if that hasn’t been the case to date, it’s not too late! Body image can be shaped and changed over time. While peers and the media may have a stronger pull in adolescence, parents can still be a strong, positive influence.
American culture sends a lot of conflicting messages about food and bodies. On the one hand, advertisements push sugary snacks, fast food, and other unhealthy foods. (Have you ever seen an ad for broccoli?) But there are also plenty of messages and famous folks glorifying thin and/or buff bodies. All these messages are absorbed and have effects, especially when so much is changing for your child.
What else influences the way an adolescent perceives their body?
Being active (or not). Exercise increases well-being and improves body image. Unfortunately, adolescents are spending more time on electronic devices and less being outside and active than in previous generations. It's important to work against this trend in your family.
Focus on body and weight by adults. Adults who report strong memories of childhood body and weight awareness note the negative effect it had on their self-image. You send messages about food and bodies when you make comments about your own eating habits (“I ate too much!”), or good and bad foods (“I shouldn’t eat this.”). If you talk about your own body size/shape or desire to lose weight, your tween/teen will hear that. Same goes for comments you make about anyone else’s body in front of them.
Peer behavior. Peer relationships guide adolescent behavior. Spending time with peers who participate in an active, healthy lifestyle can help create (or maintain) a positive body image. On the other hand, if subjected to peer teasing about weight or body features, or part of a group that values a specific look that your child can’t achieve, negative body image can emerge.
Parent behavior. Even when it seems that their attention is elsewhere, tweens/teens continue to take cues from us. If parents and caregivers model an active lifestyle and healthy eating habits, then adolescents are likely to follow suit. If you are self-conscious about your body or have anxieties about bodies and/or weight, you may need to address that in order to not pass it along to your tween/teen.
Alternatively, when you model a grateful attitude for the foods you are eating (“This peach is so delicious.”) and the body you are moving in (“I'm feeling pretty good about making it up four flights of stairs.”) you set a great example.
