The holiday season is coming up fast! In spite of challenges big and small that are going on in life, take a minute and set your intention to savor more this season – especially with your child. 'Savoring' is the psychological term for the old-fashioned concept of stopping to smell the roses. Importantly, savoring need not be saved for times when everything is roses. In fact, savoring is a great defense against hard things – helping you to feel happier, more satisfied, less frazzled, and turn small moments into life-long memories.
What better time than the holidays – with opportunities to connect with family and friends, beloved rituals, and sensory indulgences – to put savoring into practice? And once it becomes a habit, you will experience the benefits of savoring in every season.
If one were to make a list of all the ways to heighten experience and make things feel special, the holiday season checks most of the boxes. Rituals, connecting us to something larger; sensory activation; connection with family and friends; and the joys of creativity, generosity, savoring, and indulgence – all are activated.
However, most of us probably also recognize how the burden of expectations and being too busy can detract, and even prevent, us from being present and enjoying these times.
Fortunately, there are some ways to stop the mad rush of time. Research points to a triple pronged approach:
Design a couple moments to be memorable
Consciously savor them in the moment
Return to good memories later and re-savor them
Any of these practices alone will boost good feelings, but together they fill your cup in the moment, and add to your "emotional bank account" to draw on over time.
So, what does it mean to "design" moments to be memorable? The research of Chip Heath of Stanford University points to four things that raise moments above the normal, and make them stick in mind for a lifetime:
Elevation from the everyday. This means making things not just a little better, but, like, really amazing. Importantly, however, this elevation doesn’t have to be high cost or a big production; it can involve creativity and breaking the expected script in a fun and meaningful way.
Insight. Times in which we have a revelation or meaning clicks into place also tend to stick in our memories.
Pride. We remember the times when we've swelled with pride.
Connection. Deep connection to others also makes events memorable.
Based on these factors, it’s easy to see why the holidays rank high in memorability, because they are high on elevation and connection. But, you may still be able to plan to increase some of these elements.
And when you do experience special moments, you can absorb their goodness to the fullest by practicing savoring techniques. Savoring involves focusing in on the experience, noting it with all your senses, and amplifying your physical expressions. Reacting with gusto is a way to savor, and imprint, moments more fully.
Finally, you can return to these – and all – special memories again and again, and re-savor them. Recalling good feelings refills your 'emotional back account' and increases your overall well being. The research of Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D. has shown that “positive emotions, although fleeting, accumulate and compound over time in ways that incrementally build people’s enduring resources.”
