As parents, it's easy to feel torn between playing with your child, and all the bazillion other things on your to-do list. And it is true that regular, focused playtime with your child is invaluable to them, and your bond. But, learning to direct their own play and entertain themselves is also good for your little one.
In fact, young children are quite good at entertaining themselves if they are given a few interesting, child-safe things to explore. Long stretches where they are not entertained by screens so they can tap into this state of concentration and “flow.” Read on for tips on how to support young children in building the muscles of self-directed play.
As your child gets older and more independent, they gain the ability to engage in self-directed play for longer and longer periods of time. Toddlers are known for entertaining themselves with the box the gift came in. Preschoolers will play with a set of simple block for hours.
As long as they are still getting enough connection time with you, giving them regular opportunities to drop into the state of 'flow' and explore their play for as long as they want to, is vital for development. Self-directed play cultivates:
Internal motivation. When your children have the space to engage in something on their own, they are motivated by their own curiosity and interests.
Self-esteem and self-confidence. When young children are allowed to explore and learn directly from their experiences, they learn from their mistakes and feel good about their successes.
Problem-solving and self-reliance. When young children have opportunities to figure things out for themselves because no adult is guiding their experience or play, it allows new skills to arise.
While your child is playing, do keep an eye and ear out for safety issues, and ways you may need to scaffold – without removing all frustration or stealing your child's thunder or accomplishment.
