Get joy by giving to others

Giving to and helping others has been shown again and again to boost wellbeing - for the people to whom we give, and even more for ourselves. But, even if you already know this, it can be difficult to make the time and effort to give to others in the midst of daily life and our our own pressing needs and desires.

Why not plan a 'social giving project' with your child? The experience is win-win-win – you spend time together, gain the good feelings from altruism, and strengthen your social relationships. The good news is, you can start small. Even mini altruistic acts feel good, and the effect can be a positive cycle, as you experience the rewards of each one.

WHAT’S GOING ON?

It turns out that giving feels better than most people realize. Studies have shown that we believe that spending money on ourselves will feel better than spending it on others, but in fact when measured afterward, we feel better when we've spent on somebody else.

There are several powerful reasons to make giving to others a regular part of your family life:

People who are 'other focused' are more satisfied. Individuals who focus more on others are happier, and overall well-being is greater in more cooperative and collective environments.
Spending money on others boosts happiness. Even $5 spent on another person makes people happier at the end of the day. Furthermore, across the world and income levels, people who donate to charity are more satisfied with life (in fact donating to charity makes people as satisfied as if their income was doubled.)
Giving strengthens relationships. Besides feeling good all by itself, giving has also been shown to strengthen our ties with with people to whom we give... and relationships are the most essential part of happy, healthy lives.

All this is not to say that giving always feels easy. People are wired with a push and pull between altruism and selfishness. We need to make sure that we gather and store enough for ourselves to survive AND we need to care for and help others in order to create mutually beneficial social groups. Giving can feel hard because of "loss aversion" – we anticipate that losses will feel more painful than gains. As an example, it's been shown that paying for things lights up the pain centers in our brains. And our consumer culture relentlessly promotes the idea of acquiring things for ourselves.

Children have generous impulses and selfish impulses, just like all of us. With the knowledge of the deep benefits of giving, however, you can help facilitate satisfying experiences of altruism as they grow up so they feel the benefits for themselves.