It's October – the month when things get spooky! Halloween is a great time to take a closer look at fear. Fear is one of our most primal emotions, and helps us to survive by triggering the fight, flight, or freeze response in the face of danger.
Early childhood can be particularly fearful time. Not only do young children have less rational understanding of the world and are reliant on others for their survival, but there is a barrage of sensory input, new experiences, and new people they encounter every single day.
Fear is a natural human emotion. It is designed to alert us to protect ourselves when we are under threat. Ideally, fear keeps us appropriately cautious and out of harm's way. And when something does threaten our survival, we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. These survival instincts benefited our ancestors and can still benefit us in a life-threatening situation.
Early childhood can be a particularly fearful time, as kids gradually become aware of the threats and uncertainties in the world, as well as their own vulnerability and dependence on others for survival.
The earliest fears are reactive, triggered by changes to routine and environment. Loud noises, strange faces, and unfamiliar places are often the cause of fearful reactions in toddlers. As they grow, more specific fears can emerge. Because children are so dependent on their caretakers, feeling a loss of connection with a parent or loss of belonging in their 'tribe', is actually the most terrifying sort of fear.
While kids may express fears focused on home (their own or family members' mortality, for example), school or daycare (the space, particular teachers), or the outside world (natural disasters, shadows, and imaginary monsters), deep down they are usually about a fear that in some way, their relationships are not enough to take care of them and keep them safe.
When young mammals experience threats in the wild, their first instinct is to find their caretaker, or 'attachment figure', and humans are no different. Your warm connection is the best antidote to your child's fear.
